September 13

Matthew 18:21-35

Peter approached Jesus and asked him,
“Lord, if my brother sins against me,
how often must I forgive?
As many as seven times?” 
Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. 
That is why the kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king
who decided to settle accounts with his servants. 
When he began the accounting,
a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. 
Since he had no way of paying it back,
his master ordered him to be sold,
along with his wife, his children, and all his property,
in payment of the debt. 
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan. 
When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a much smaller amount. 
He seized him and started to choke him, demanding,
‘Pay back what you owe.’
Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
But he refused. 
Instead, he had the fellow servant put in prison
until he paid back the debt. 
Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened,
they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master
and reported the whole affair. 
His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! 
I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. 
Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant,
as I had pity on you?’
Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt. 
So will my heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”

the scribble

“Are you sure it isn’t just unforgiveness? Hardness of heart is a pretty serious sin,” Father Dan admonished.

At first, I saw no distinction between the two. I knew Christ commanded me to forgive “seventy-seven times” and that vengeance belongs to the Lord. Yet knowing these truths and living them were not the same.

Saint Augustine defines forgiveness as surrendering the desire to hurt someone for hurting you. I felt I had made progress. I no longer wanted revenge. Yet my heart remained wounded, incapable of loving as I was called to love. I was meant to imitate my Savior, who is “kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion,” and who commands, “Love one another as I have loved you.” But how?

The parable of the unforgiving servant began to answer that question: “I forgave you your entire debt. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant?” Reflecting on my own sinfulness and Christ’s pardon of my iniquities and healing of my wounds, my heart slowly moved toward mercy. Still, I needed more.

The Catechism offers the answer: “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense, but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory, transforming the hurt into intercession” (CCC 2843).

I would have to rely on God’s grace.

Jesus, I offer You my heart. Heal it, transform it, and teach me to forgive my brother from my hear.